In Which I Break Down... All The Time

Everything makes me cry.

I prided myself on my ability to hold in emotion in public.  Nothing made me cry.  I never had a heart of stone, but I was able to hold in my tears until I reached the privacy of my own home.

Now.  Pfft.

Sad movies, commercials (COMMERCIALS!), and kind words from others make my eyes leak worse than a sieve used as a roof in a hurricane.  At a wedding this past weekend, the vows the groom spoke to the bride had me sniffling and surreptitiously wiping my eyes.  It was an outside wedding so I could feign allergies.

How many other women do this during pregnancy?  Do you break down every time the old couple in the Cialis commercial smile at each other and embrace?  When the mom hugs her child after cleaning the toilet with Clorox, do you sniffle and feel your eyes get red?  

This is embarrassing.  So much so that I fear watching tv in group settings.  If you have me over soon and the television is on, don't think anything of it if I make an excuse to leave the room at each commercial break!

Things I Miss...

Picture taken at 22 Weeks, 1 Day by my lovely sister, Heather Johnson.  

I expected to miss certain things when I became pregnant.  And for the first 4 months of pregnancy, I was definitely not missing much.  Nausea and then complete excitement at being a mom kept me from thinking about sushi and bars and long nights with a glass of wine under the stars with friends.

In the last month, I have become increasingly aware of things I'm missing.  Fridays and Saturdays were once days and nights of hanging out on patios and by pools with wine or beer, talking with friends and laughing until the wee hours of the morning.  Summer was spent swimming in the lake, water skiing on the boat, traveling, and always enjoying an alcoholic beverage of some sort.

So, it's clear I miss alcohol.  And with the holidays coming up, I will be unable to drink the delectable sangria made by my mom-in-law, Sue.  Sangria so amazingly delicious, that it is usually consumed completely by everyone before dinner is even served, and we are left to suck and chew on the alcohol soaked fruit at the bottom of the jars.  But a healthy baby is more than worth giving up that buzz of contentment.

Ice cream is another treat I miss.  Too much sugar and fat to be of any use to my developing wee one.  I must admit, about once a month, Patrick does treat me to some fro-yo.  But as for the full fat, full sugar, creamy dreamy ice cream.  Nope.  None.  Sigh.

Sushi.  Oh God.  Now that is another treat entirely.  In fact, I have asked Patrick to get me sushi as soon as the baby exits my lady parts.  I want raw fish, tuna, salmon, all of it, in my mouth and in my tummy.  Speaking of raw, I also miss bloody rare steaks.  And runny eggs.  But again, food treats are nothing to give up to have a healthy baby.  

But I can still miss those things right?  I can dream about having a couple of drinks at the end of the day, enjoying a margarita with my quesadilla, eating sushi with my chopsticks, and having an ice cream sundae covered in chocolate to finish it all off.  And still be a good mama.