In Which I Break Down... All The Time

Everything makes me cry.

I prided myself on my ability to hold in emotion in public.  Nothing made me cry.  I never had a heart of stone, but I was able to hold in my tears until I reached the privacy of my own home.

Now.  Pfft.

Sad movies, commercials (COMMERCIALS!), and kind words from others make my eyes leak worse than a sieve used as a roof in a hurricane.  At a wedding this past weekend, the vows the groom spoke to the bride had me sniffling and surreptitiously wiping my eyes.  It was an outside wedding so I could feign allergies.

How many other women do this during pregnancy?  Do you break down every time the old couple in the Cialis commercial smile at each other and embrace?  When the mom hugs her child after cleaning the toilet with Clorox, do you sniffle and feel your eyes get red?  

This is embarrassing.  So much so that I fear watching tv in group settings.  If you have me over soon and the television is on, don't think anything of it if I make an excuse to leave the room at each commercial break!

Things I Miss...

Picture taken at 22 Weeks, 1 Day by my lovely sister, Heather Johnson.  

I expected to miss certain things when I became pregnant.  And for the first 4 months of pregnancy, I was definitely not missing much.  Nausea and then complete excitement at being a mom kept me from thinking about sushi and bars and long nights with a glass of wine under the stars with friends.

In the last month, I have become increasingly aware of things I'm missing.  Fridays and Saturdays were once days and nights of hanging out on patios and by pools with wine or beer, talking with friends and laughing until the wee hours of the morning.  Summer was spent swimming in the lake, water skiing on the boat, traveling, and always enjoying an alcoholic beverage of some sort.

So, it's clear I miss alcohol.  And with the holidays coming up, I will be unable to drink the delectable sangria made by my mom-in-law, Sue.  Sangria so amazingly delicious, that it is usually consumed completely by everyone before dinner is even served, and we are left to suck and chew on the alcohol soaked fruit at the bottom of the jars.  But a healthy baby is more than worth giving up that buzz of contentment.

Ice cream is another treat I miss.  Too much sugar and fat to be of any use to my developing wee one.  I must admit, about once a month, Patrick does treat me to some fro-yo.  But as for the full fat, full sugar, creamy dreamy ice cream.  Nope.  None.  Sigh.

Sushi.  Oh God.  Now that is another treat entirely.  In fact, I have asked Patrick to get me sushi as soon as the baby exits my lady parts.  I want raw fish, tuna, salmon, all of it, in my mouth and in my tummy.  Speaking of raw, I also miss bloody rare steaks.  And runny eggs.  But again, food treats are nothing to give up to have a healthy baby.  

But I can still miss those things right?  I can dream about having a couple of drinks at the end of the day, enjoying a margarita with my quesadilla, eating sushi with my chopsticks, and having an ice cream sundae covered in chocolate to finish it all off.  And still be a good mama.

More Nursery Sneak Peak

The nursery is almost finished as we come up on the 22 week mark (this Friday.  Holy cow!)  Speaking of cows, ahem, I am starting to show quite a bit.  It's almost easy to see that I'm pregnant now, and not just a recent indulger of a large dinner.

Here is a picture that will be hanging in little Baby Cakes' bedroom.  I love it, the elephants, the phrasing, everything.  Just perfect.

I added my own unique touches, of course.  And I promise, once all the crafty projects and furniture is in place, I will be posting tons of pictures of the nursery.  So many that all of you will hate me.  

Just as long as you still love Baby Cakes.

20 Weeks Down, 20 Weeks To Go

It's finally here!  The halfway mark, people!  I have been pregnant for 20 weeks, 140 days (give or take), and there is only 20 weeks or 140 days left to our due date.  Of course, Baby Cakes could choose to completely ignore the due date, as most babies do.  I don't mind as long as he or she comes in the 37 to 42 week little window.  Are you listening to your mother, Baby Cakes?  You have from December 14th until January 17th to be born at home.  Otherwise, we have to go to the hospital.  So let's keep it within those dates, darling!

Yesterday, as I have mentioned already, was our 20 week anomaly screening.  The results were awesome.  Heart, stomach, brain, all major organs, legs, arms, head, everything is well formed.  The sex of the baby was determined by our midwife and the technician, but kept a mystery to hubby and myself.  Our midwife even put a folder over the monitor so I wouldn't be tempted to look while the technician got between baby's legs.  She is amazing.  I recommend her care to every pregnant woman in the middle Tennessee area.

What I found funny, was the technician commented on how active the baby is.  I told her I feel Baby Cakes moving all day long, until around 9:00 pm, then all is quiet on the western front.  Or uterus front.  Which is really lucky for me.  But baby made sure to put on a show for everyone viewing.  And, taking 70% after his or her father and 30% after his or her mother, was very stubborn and difficult in letting Beth get certain measurements and readings.  With a little twisting and turning on my part, she was able to measure everything, and got some amazing shots of our little one.

And we also got to see a healthily pulsating umbilical cord.  Honestly so amazing to think that is my baby's lifeline right now.  Good thing they said it looked really healthy and strong.  But I know you all did not come to the site to hear about a pulsating umbilical cord.  You came to see video.  Well, here you go people.  Enjoy the squirmings of our little Baby Cakes.  And if anyone is an expert-gender-deducer, just keep that info to yourself.  I want to be surprised by what is there (or isn't there!) upon our birthing time.

Family and friends, you will be seeing the extended version soon.

I honestly understand how every parent thinks their child is the cutest and most beautiful one in the world.  Because our baby still resembles Skeletor, and I think it is the most perfect and amazing and adorable child that has ever existed.  And I already love him or her more than I could ever love anything else on this world. Besides Patrick.

Do you think I'll give my child a complex when they look back on these writings and see that we referred to him/her as he/she??  Eh.  All parents mess up their kids in some way or other, right?

Hypnobabies

Class last night was AWESOME.  I am so so so happy I chose to go with Hypnobabies as our birthing method.  And that we are doing a water birth.  I know that some women prefer having their babies in the hospital and with epidurals, but that just never appealed to me.  With Hypnobabies, I can birth my baby at home, in a calm environment, all while being comfortable and relaxed.

Hypnobabies is a course that not only teaches you techniques in natural childbirth, prenatal exercises, pregnancy healthy diet rules, lactation practices, etc., but they also instruct mommies and their birth partners (Patrick) in learning medical grade anesthesia.  This class is not to be taken lightly though.  You can't randomly listen to your cds, scripts, or attend class with the hopes of great results.  You have to set aside around 40 minutes a day to study and practice the techniques.  You have to believe completely that you will have a pain-free birth, that your body and baby will know what to do.

We are also not allowed to watch reality birthing stories, movies, or other television shows that portray birth in any other way than the peaceful experience it can be.  Basically, we are deprogramming everything society has taught us from birth - that having a baby is scary and frightening and a disease needing to be cured.  This is far from true.  I am going to have to ask now though, very politely, that everyone refrain from telling me their birth horror stories, or even just rumors they have heard about childbirth.  Patrick also needs to be cut away from these stories.  We love all of you, and we respect your own experiences, but this is part of the method we have chosen.  And we are embracing the method completely, not halfheartedly.

It's funny to me.  If someone is going into a major surgery on their heart or to remove cancer, people give them uplifting stories of hope.  When a woman goes to give birth, people come crawling out of the woodwork to tell her EVERYTHING that could go wrong.  No one needs that kind of negativity.

Here's a breakdown of what we went over last night in class:

• Circle yourself with only positive visualization and imagery about your birth
• Construct and stay in your "Bubble of Peace"
• Focus on only what you want - The mind is not as capable of dealing with negatives, so don't think about what you DON'T WANT, only what you WANT
• Allow no negative birth stories from friends, family, strangers, tv, or movies

We were also given "homeplay" instead of homework... because it's so fun to do, you can't call it work... yes corny jokes are awesome.  I giggled in class when she said it.  Not even going to lie!  CDs to listen to, practice putting ourselves under deep hypnosis, reading scripts together, and reading informative articles and books.

Know what the best part of class is?  We get to bring pillows and blankets to lay on the floor and be as comfortable as possible.  There is even a part of class that the lights are dimmed, and we undergo hypnosis.  How many college classes encouraged pillows, blankets, and sleep???

Just a different kind of final exam!

If anyone has any further question about Hypnobabies, my instructor, or how to get in touch with 9 Months and Beyond, please feel free to contact me!  I don't know a lot right now, but I will help all I can.

143 Days to January 4th

We downloaded little countdown apps for our phones.  Today, 143 days remain until we hit our due date.  Which is just a guesstimate, of course, but it does give us a time frame in which our lives will change forever. Already are changing forever.

At this time, in years past, Patrick and I would be spending every weekend night out, hanging with friends, hitting bars and restaurants, going to the movies, staying up until dawn breaks.  No more.  Nope, we are lucky to be up at 11 PM nightly.  Normally, we are hitting the sack around 9 or 10.  And it is only once every few weeks that we make it out to hang with our friends, and never as late as in the past.  But, just between you and me (and the millions of other people on the internet), I am ok with this change in lifestyle.  Because I will be a MOM.  And my desire to see the little face that is half mine and half Patrick's, well, that's pretty doggone important.

I suppose I am starting to show a little bit more.  A couple of days ago, at Target, one of the associates asked when I was due.  After telling her my due date, she informed me that all four of her children were born around the times of the full moon, and perhaps I should check out when the full moon will be.  Which got me thinking, that is a viable suggestion.  It is a proven fact that birth rates increase around the fully waxed moon.  Hmm.  So I hit up the Farmer's Almanac.

A full moon is expected a week before my due date, on December 28th, 2012 at 5:21 AM.  The Full Cold Moon.

It's just a thought.

Plus, if this kid pops out before the new year, we get a tax deduction for 2012!  Woot woot!

Baby Cakes, I promise, that's not the only reason your dad and I decided to have you.  It's just a cherry on top.

19 Weeks - Almost Halfway There!

So when we first got pregnant, I had every intention of taking tummy pictures weekly, and monitoring my growth.  Well... in real life, sometimes we don't follow our exact plan.  Ahhh... the best laid plans of mice and men.

Anyway, today Patrick and I made sure I put on my Chive On getup and he started snapping pictures.  Here's an update on the belly growth.  Guys, I am carrying this kid super low...

Baby Cakes is 19 weeks old, 6 inches long, and aspires to be a kick boxer.

Patrick wanted a front tummy picture.  And for some reason I could not stop laughing.

June, on the other hand, was extremely bored with the picture taking.  Hopefully she'll be more excited once the baby comes.